Loving A Drug Addict. What it is like living with a person with a drug addiction. Tips that will help.
Loving a drug addict or an active alcoholic is the hardest thing you will ever do.
Watching someone you love, that has fought so hard to beat addiction, throw everything away and sink back into a life that will most likely lead to jail or death, is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
All you wanted was to help them back to a clean and sober life but you realize by doing this, as you have so many times before, will now just be enabling them because it will show them that you will always be there to bail them out.
You want to grab and shake them and say “What are you doing?!?!” But, at some point you realize that it wouldn’t make a difference. So you sit back and watch the tragedy unfold, as if you are watching a movie.
Feeling helpless to stop it, feeling like you haven’t done enough to help, even though you know only the addict can help themselves.
Battling a drug and/or an alcohol addiction is a beast for the person addicted and the ones who love them.
Helping a loved one struggling with drug or alcohol addiction is often a long and heartbreaking journey. At times, it can be so overwhelming that ignoring the situation may seem like an easier solution.
Sweeping the issue under the rug can be more damaging to you, your family, and the person you’re concerned about. As painful as it may be, it’s important that you take the time to encourage your loved one to get the help they need.
Although you may see this as selfish, it’s incredibly important that you’re able to be there for others and make the best decisions possible. Make sure your own needs are met by getting enough sleep, exercising, and eating well. Don’t be afraid to go to therapy to get help if you find yourself struggling due to your loved one’s drug addiction.
20 years ago my husband was an alcoholic. Other than the drinking he was the perfect man. Kind, loving, gentle and generous. But I could not live with the “bad” side of him. I gave him a choice. It was either me or the alcohol and prayed he would choose me. I stood my ground, even though it was VERY hard on both of us. On a couple occasions I threw him out of the house. It was a two year battle. But WE finally won. He has been alcohol free for 18 years now. He ended up loving me more that the alcohol. We are so very happy now. The answer is: that I did not enable him and stuck to my guns. Tough LOVE and PRAYERS do work. I am not telling you that it will work with your loved one, but if they can not change then you are better off without them. You must take care of yourself first! You can not help anyone who will not help themselves.
So l am asking you to stand with me in prayer for every family member and friend who has lost or is losing their battle with drugs and alcohol and those who continue to conquer it!
A Friend’s Story:
“My name is Randall. 3 years ago, I spent the last $60 I had on pills to get high- instead of buying my baby Diapers or giving it to my kids before I checked into a Detox Center. A few months before that on Christmas Eve 2015, my girlfriend left me and took my kids, I lost everything including my soul. I was told I was a worthless junkie, that I should kill myself, that I’d never make it. They said my life would never change, that I would always be the same old Randall.
But “They” were wrong.
Today by The Amazing Grace of God I have 3 years of recovery. 1,096 days that I have let God lead me 24 hours at a time. I have 3 amazing and beautiful babies. I am a Father, a Son, a Brother, an Uncle, and a Friend. The Director of Addiction Recovery Care’s Ashland Outpatient Center, a College Degree and working towards a Bachelor in Social Work Degree at Morehead State University. And I’m not done yet!
3 years ago I couldn’t go 1 minute without wanting to get high. I had thoughts of killing my self daily, however, was too big of a coward to do it. I would go to my Sisters grave daily, praying for God to take my life because I hated who I was and had lost everything. If I could describe my life for 12 and a half years in a quote it would be this:
“The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven’t yet come to the end of themselves. We’re still trying to give orders, and interfering with God’s work within us.”
~ A. W. Tozer~
But the best thing about this life is that it can change in one moment. Don’t sit around and wait for it to happen. Stand up and be the change. Be your own hero.
To any person who is addicted: You are not just a Junkie, a Nobody, you have a grand purpose. You are built from every mistake you have ever made. You are not too far gone, too hopeless, too unforgiven, to have a new life. You deserve recovery, you deserve to truly live. You are A Child of God!
Today, I woke up happy to be alive. I looked in the mirror and respected the man staring back at me. Today, I know of freedom and what it means to be alive. Not because of anything I have done but because I surrendered my life to the Lord and let him take control. I give all Glory to Him.
Faith will tell you to have patience when everything else is telling you to panic.
Faith will tell you to hold on when everything else is telling you to let go.
Faith will tell you to push forward when everything else is telling you to pull back.
Choose freedom and recovery for yourself too. Call SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357), (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service) or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations. Callers can also order free publications and other information.
Always remember the breath of life is so much purer after drowning for so long in your own pain and misery. Please don’t be afraid of change- Embrace It. It may be hard at first but then again It may be that answered prayer you or someone else has been so desperately praying for all those years to set you free.
Today because I put God First in my life everything the enemy had stolen has been restored and I can not walk one day without him or do anything without Him in my life.”
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