The cicadas are buzzing, the kids are running through sprinklers, and the calendar is full of shared time, travel dates, and coordinated drop-offs. Summer in a shared custody arrangement often feels like three months of juggling chainsaws, tigers, bears, and lit torches. Amid all the planning, driving, and compromising, it’s easy to forget one critical thing:
You’re allowed to take care of yourself, too.
Co-parenting during the summer months can be both rewarding and exhausting. For some, it brings emotional highs and lows. For others, it may stir feelings of loneliness, guilt, or even grief, especially when long periods away from your child are involved. That’s why making time for self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential.
Honor the Emotional Whiplash of Shared Parenting
You might feel joy one day and sadness the next. Maybe you’re cherishing your child-free weekend, only to get hit with guilt the moment you realize you’re enjoying it. Maybe your heart aches when your child leaves, but you know they’re safe and happy with their other parent.
Here’s the truth we all need to share: All of that is normal.
Summer custody schedules often involve longer blocks of time with one parent, which means you may go a week or more without seeing your child. That’s a big emotional shift, and it’s okay to grieve that time apart. It’s also okay to enjoy your downtime. You’re human, and parenting from two households takes a lot of strength.
Create a Routine Just for You
While your child’s routine might be full of camp lunches and splash pads, yours shouldn’t be an empty void. Use your time intentionally to build your own rhythm. Even something as simple as:
- Brewing a slow cup of coffee in the morning
- Reading a chapter of a book every night
- Going for a solo walk or journaling
The goal isn’t to distract yourself from missing your child. It’s to stay connected to yourself while navigating this unique parenting journey.
Reconnect with Your Identity Outside of Parenting
You were a full person before you became a parent and that version of you still matters. Shared custody offers moments to reconnect with your own identity that might have taken a backseat during the school year.
So go ahead:
- Dust off that hobby
- Revisit old friendships
- Join a group, a gym, or a book club
- Take that mini solo trip you’ve been dreaming about
Nourishing your identity beyond “parent” helps you feel fulfilled, balanced, and better equipped to show up for your child with energy and joy.
Lean Into Support Systems
Even the strongest co-parents need help sometimes. Whether it’s a best friend who listens without judgment, a therapist who helps you process your emotions, or a sibling who reminds you you’re doing a good job, surround yourself with people who pour into you.
Isolation can creep in when your child is away. Don’t let it take root. Reach out, schedule lunch with someone who lifts you up, or even join an online parenting support group. You’re not alone in this.
Let Go of the Comparison Trap
You might see social media posts from other families vacationing together, co-parents celebrating milestones side-by-side, or kids happily reunited after a week away—and it might sting. But remember: those are highlights, not full stories.
Your parenting journey is yours alone, and it doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s to be valid, loving, and successful.
Your Child Benefits When You’re Okay
When you prioritize your mental health, your child feels it. They benefit from a parent who is emotionally grounded, rested, and present. They learn by watching how you care for yourself, and that lesson is priceless. Take a nap. Say no to the event you’re dreading. Order the sushi. Sit on the porch and do nothing. This summer, give yourself the same compassion and support you give your child.
✅ Self-Care Checklist for Summer Co-Parents
- ☐ Build a routine that brings you peace
- ☐ Reconnect with interests and hobbies that bring you joy
- ☐ Set boundaries with your time and energy
- ☐ Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist when needed
- ☐ Embrace the quiet without guilt or shame
- ☐ Avoid comparing your co-parenting journey to others
- ☐ Practice mindfulness, meditation, or journaling
- ☐ Celebrate small wins and moments of rest
- ☐ Remind yourself: You’re doing your best and that’s enough
- ☐ Fill your own cup so you can continue pouring love into theirs
Need help adjusting your custody schedule for better balance this summer? Local divorce attorneys in Talladega County are here to support Alabama parents navigating the emotional and legal challenges of shared parenting. Whether you need a modification or just clarity on your rights, our team is here with practical guidance and compassionate care.
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